In the arms of the ocean, devotion rushes out of me
by Margo Alaska
Summary: She taught him to love again, to trust that hearts were not always taken away and broken. He showed her the world she had always dreamed of and was her true love's kiss. Now, his heart needed her, but the sea was calling her. A Captain Hook/Ariel fic.
1. Get found, you'll come back to me

She's standing in the deck, shivering with the night and the ocean breeze. She feels goosebumps travel up her legs and she chuckles softly, still amazed at the many things her legs are capable of. They're truly beautiful wonders, these legs. Cold, with the emptiness pulling at her heart, she wraps his jacket around herself, and tears well up in her eyes when she gets a hint of his smell: leather, sandalwood and sea salt.

Suppressing a sigh, she stares into the bottomless black waters. She had no idea that up here the ocean was black, the same as the night sky, and they both went on endless, without any separation between them but the exquisite moon. She likes the moon, how the pale ghosts of light bring shadows over the water and she can see flecks and bits of foam in the ocean, and how they disappear among rays of black and white. She likes the stars; they remind her of his earring and how much she laughed when she saw it shine in the sunlight, like crusted seashells in his ear and he got all serious and manly and teased her until she admitted she like him wearing a diamond earring.

She likes all the sky wonders because she never knew birds flew across it as fast and as free as her fishes swam around her. She never imagined buildings twice as tall as her home but with no water around it to hold them up. She never guessed there was a thing that flowed like water, but flashed and sizzled; she likes the fire very much, especially when he roasts sweets for her in it.

But the ocean is calling her, craving for her, waiting for her. It misses her and she can feel her heart pounding with each wave. She closes her eyes and imagines the clear aquamarine water around her, she can still see the kaleidoscopes of fishes travel with her, she can still feel her long hair tickle her waist when she twirled and twirled in her cave for hours, dreaming of a neverland.

Her sisters must miss her. Regretfully, she can still pretend their laughter rings in her ears, their silliness over how many times they lost their heads over a merman. She wishes she could have their comfort now, like she did so many times she cried over her long lost mother and they all cuddled and warmed her with kisses. "Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Attina, Adella, Alana" she whispers her names, like a prayer, like a wish, with silent tears sliding across her newest freckles.

But it's when she thinks of her father that a sob finally escapes her and she covers her mouth with her leather-bound hand, his jacket too big on her. Her sweet, kind, protective father, he must be losing his head over her disappearance. The always serious king of the sea, how small he must seem now without his youngest child. Sobbing as soflty as the foam she stares at, shacking with the sea breeze that embraces her, she grips the railing urgently. How much she longs for his smile across the dinner table, over all the chaos of his politics and her sister's chattings. He was always looking at her, mischief and laughter in his eyes over things only she could see, like every time Sebastian's legs got stuck over the algae salad whenever he got nervous and started fretting and running all over the tables over the kingdom's problems.

She startles when she feels his arms wrap around her from behind, the feeling of the hook cold over her belly, and his nose nuzzles her wet cheeks. For a moment, he says nothing, and the hard planes of his chest ground her and the sea retreats from her mind. He's scared, she knows, he's terrified of her longing for the sea. He lost a loved one long time, she was taken from him, and he was left with a deep wound in his heart, never trusting himself to love again. Until her, the tiny mermaid who appeared in front of him in a lost beach.

Her shaky new legs had not supported her and she had fallen in his arms. Oh, he had terrified her at first sight. He smelled spicy and looked so hunted, despite his icy stare being filled with naughtiness and quest. But she was defenseless and abandoned, and for once, his broken and hidden heart took pity on another human and he took her to his ship.

After that, he had fought desperately to push her away and his remoteness and cruelness had hurt her for many days in that strange vessel with loud men. Scared and tired of the odd world that had betrayed her dreams, she had foolishly thrown herself off board, in an attempt to get back to the place she knew and loved. She had been drowning, her beautiful smooth human legs useless to her, she had no idea how to swim with them, but he had jumped after her. He saved her and brought her up to the daylight. And when he tried to resuscitate her, giving her mouth to mouth breathing, and his lips, those lips that had teased for days and nights when they grinned and laughed with his men, touched hers, magic traveled all along the waves and clouds. His roguish blue eyes had opened in shock and she had breathed again. Her green eyes looked huge reflected in his, and she got her first true love's kiss.

That happened so long. Now, under the moon's glow, he drops soothing kisses on her cheek and her hair, trying to appease her tremors. She knows it's just as much for her comfort as for his. She rests her head on his shoulder and smiles, finally, as she sees his earring. She can't see him smile, but she feels him, relieved. His love for her is so infinite but utterly fretful; he's just like the sea, volatile, thunderous, beautiful, encompassing her. Maybe that's why she loves them both so much.

"Are you happy Ariel?" he inquires, and the accent makes her smile wider because she talks just like him now, since he's her only company. He's all she knows in this world, all she has.

"Yes Killian" she answers simply. He tightens his grip on her and nuzzles her shoulder, kissing her freckles, fascinated by how her creamy skin now bears the signs of her stay in this world.

Even so, she can feel his heart pounding behind her back and his breathing over her shoulders is irregular and rattled. She recognizes he's about to say something, she's grown used to his vulnerability and his fears whenever she disappears from his sight.

"This is the third time this month I've woken without you in the middle of the night" he murmurs to her ear before he starts kissing it and she trembles. She turns around in his arms and takes his hand, bringing it to her heart. She knows he does that every morning when he thinks she's still asleep, she's heard his low voice tattoo over heart "I love you, I love you, I love you" until he rests his forehead over her chest and quiets down.

Under his only hand, her heart beats fast at first, then slows down as it recognizes his touch. He closes his eyes, content and calm to feel her heartbeat, the one thing he treasures and protects more than anything in this land.

"I had a nightmare" she lies, protecting him as well, that's what they do; their love means shielding each other from their secrets and old aches. "I thought I was drowning again".

"Oh darling" he groans, lifting her and putting her on the railing and she gasps in surprise. He puts his head on her lap and holds her tightly, believing her completely, sad that she fears the place she loves the most. She caresses his head, softly scratching his neck and he shudders.

"I will never let that happen, do you hear me?" he declares louder this time. "You belong with me, not swallowed in the sea". She smiles sorrowfully, loving them both, longing for the sea, and yet never wanting to leave her broken seaman. Ariel strokes his hair and starts singing in her little girl voice, luring him:

"_My heart is pierced by cupid, _

_I disdain all glittering gold. _

_There is nothing can console me, _

_but my jolly sailor bold"_

Killian cuddles her tight and closes his eyes once more, sluggish with love, humming the melody; his purring teases her lap like waves crashing over rocks. She feels him relax under her, his desperation burning down, leaving his mind. The song finishes and she flicks his earring, trying to amuse him; he laughs, his mind letting go his dread when he didn't find her beside him. He kisses her knee, his beard scratching her, tickling his favorite spot. Quivers travel from his kiss to her heart, she laughs unrestrained.

"Let's go to bed" he pleads, lifting his head; she nods, and he lets go of her, relieved. She motions him to turn around; his smile is delightful, playful and oh-so naughty. She laughs, hops on his back and wraps her legs and arms around him, his mirth washing away the yearning for the dark waters.

"Where to, Captain?" he squeezes her bottom and she throws her head back in another fit of giggles.

"To bed, sailor. Inmediately" her loves shines through and he's happy again.

"Aye" he yells and runs; her laughter fills the deck. In the deep of the ocean, an old man smiles forlornly.


	2. My beloved was weighed down

A/N: OH MY GOD! I never in a million years imagined this kind of reaction. You guys basically have made my life with every comment, every review, every favorite. Everything, I'm so honored, thank you so much for all for your love and support. I love you so much!

Special thanks to Griffin, who helped with the ideas and corrections. She's an amazing beta! 

This goes to all the amazing Hookriel shippers and graphic makers, let's keep shipping guys. 

**My beloved was weighed down**

He wakes up just at the right time; the sun creeps through the linen curtains, warming his face, and it's the perfect illumination to suit the miniature freckles sprinkled across her pale cheeks. She's breathing softly, her delicate puffs stirring his hair over his eyes, and he pushes it, annoyed at his spiky hair. She's constantly pushing it off his eyes just before she kisses him.

His heart starts doing that thing, that pounding, threatening to jump out his chest, like that horrible time so long ago. But this thing, it always happens whenever she's around him and mesmerizes him with her loveliness, this beating out of control is the best thing that has happened to him. She twitches and he presses a soothing kiss to her brow; she smiles a little bit and her reddish lashes flicker for a second, but she remains asleep.

He stares as the sunlight pours over her cheekbones and her lips, and he grins faintly. He should be used to her beauty, after all this time he's gotten to wake up next to it every day, but he hasn't; her wide, bee stung mouth still renders him speechless. He knows that in the mornings, her lips are a faint carnation pink color, like the rose gown she wears to bed. In the afternoons, when the sun is setting, they get a reddish glow from the dying daylight and it makes him think of apples and cider. But his favorite color is the strong pink, almost crimson, that his lips cause after hours of pecking and kissing.

He props himself over his left elbow, careful to not rip the sheets with the hook. "_Since she didn't find it very funny the last time. Or the time before._" he thinks to himself and smirks. He moves slowly and quietly, like a fox, and pushes her strawberry blonde curls from her chest. He looks back at her face to see if she's still sleeping, and when he notices nothing, he puts his hand on her chest, like she did some nights ago.

Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.

"Love you, my sweet girl," he whispers as softly as he can and his heart stops for a second, then kicks back, imitating her rhythm. He shudders thinking he could lose her heart; he wakes up some nights, drenched in cold sweat, and when he stretches his hand and doesn't find her there, he believes nightmares are real, and this demon-filled land took his beloved's heart once more.

But she's always close by, usually watching the sea, sometimes feeding seagulls, others making the cook laugh. Even though it nearly kills him every time it happens, whenever he finds her making others happy, his love for her just swells and grows. Ariel is too kind, too delightful, always considerate, always touching others with her warmth, she's like gold. _No_, he shudders, gold is flashy and heavy. Her heart is not too heavy for him to carry, it's just perfect; her heart is light as clouds compared to his. She freed him from his bitterness; yet, he wonders: _why? Why is she with him?_

He had rested his head on her chest during his inner battle without noticing, so his elbow almost gives out when he hears her voice, raspy from the sleep, utter "Morning Ki." She laughs when he almost falls completely over her, surprised. Oh, she truly was still a mermaid at heart sometimes; but if her heart was still mermaid, his was pirate.

"Morning precious," he says lightheartedly and starts kissing her breast, chest and collarbone, playfully nipping at her neck and shoulders, taking his hand from her heart and moving it over her hip, tickling her merciless.

"STOP! KI! YOU OAF CEASE THAT RIGHT NOW" she laughs and screams, but he just laughs and laughs until there are tears in his eyes, and he just keeps on kissing her neck, carefully biting her sometimes, eliciting a shriek. Her laugher is loud and tinkling, like seashells carried by the current; it was one of his favorite sounds, topped only by her singing.

"You terrible, terrible man! End that, I'm hungry, I want to get up! Stop it!" she whines, but he knows his playfulness is a favorite of hers. He had discovered her to be such a ticklish creature, her smooth legs oversensitive from the curse that brought her to him. He had devoted many hours of his courtship kissing, licking, tickling, and awakening every inch of her alabaster legs. He was very familiar with her feet; she wiggled her toes like a fish out of the water whenever he nuzzled her ankles. He knew that behind her knees was her breaking point.

So, he travels down her chest, petting and playing with her; passes over her navel and teases her with his tongue; and drops kisses over her hipbone, his journey to her knee wicked, slow and torturous for them both. When his mouth gets there, he does his little trick: he puts the hook beneath one knee, the coldness of the metal startling her and he carefully sucks behind her other knee. Her body shakes up like a firecracker over the bed and she squeals so loud his ears ring.

"Killian…" she whimpers tenderly this time, like a moan.

As he kisses her, every sigh and soft giggle pierces the dark veil that covers his battered heart and protects him from caring about the outside world. As he scrubs his beard over her knee, and she dissolves in another round of giggles, he feels free, but he knows he's undeserving of this joy.

"_This right here, your legs around me, your heart beating for me, my name whispered in your little tender voice, I'm home. This ship is not my home anymore, Neverland is not my home anymore, this land is not my home anymore. You, you, you, only you._" he thinks and his blood pours faster, magic flowing between his body and hers.

He nibbles at her calf and she half groans, half laughs, and he gets dizzy with delight.

"_Do you know you saved me? Not the other way around. When you came to me, you gave me back a dream, a purpose, ease. You gave me a heart again. There is no justice for me to have this sort of happiness. After everything I've done… I'm a thief. But you unbreak me, you fix me. I'm enthralled by you. What will I do if you go back to the sea? What will I become? A murderer again, scum, pure evil. I was just a bully, a vindictive arse. You make me better Ari. I'm sorry love, I'm so sorry my heart is such a heavy burden for you to carry. I'm so heavy in your arms._" he thinks, wishing desperately that he could show her how much she holds him together.

He looks up and their gazes find each other over the plane of her stomach and she smiles, uninhibited and adoring, and her lips have that crimson tone and he swears softly, fascinated.

"I love you, Ki," she says reverently.

"You've bewitched me, mermaid."

She ruffles his hair, winks and crooks her finger at him. He crawls over her and is lowering his head to kiss the living daylights out of her, when a voice over them interrupts them: "Land in sight!"

She giggles when she sees his disappointment and bites his chin, causing him to grunt.

"Hold that thought, darling" and he leaves the bed in a hurry.

He's talking to his second in command, stirring them away from the swamps, when he sees her come out of his chamber. "_Theirs,_" he corrects himself and smiles. He waves and holds up one finger, telling her he just needs a moment.

Oh, but his little tease is just as bad as him. She runs across the ship, her white dress flying in the breeze; beaming, her face is open and impish; her red curls crazy and flowing around her green eyes, like the leaves in autumn. The sailors laugh and whistle as they see her go by, and before he can react, she throws herself at him and he catches her and stumbles, trying to steady himself with the hook, pulling on the wheel. The ship shakes, rickety and turns to the side; the men yell and stumble as well. With that, she bursts out laughing, glad her naughtiness caught him off guard.

"Careful missy, you about to throw us to the crocs," Mr. Smee tells her, smiling but nervously looking over the railing.

"Oh don't worry, the crocs don't want pirate meat," she taunts. With the mention of crocodiles, Killian tenses and holds her closer. She senses it, leans and bites his ear, and he chuckles.

"Oi, Mr. Smee, I believe there's a croc right here!" and she nibbles him again, laughs and presses a kiss into his ear, leaving him deaf for a moment.

"Aye, she's evil, this croc" he says and lifts her over his shoulder, her head hanging upside down, her curls almost touching the ship floor. "She must be locked away and punished".

As he struts toward the chamber, she squeals "Save Mr. Smee. John, stop him! Help me!"

The cook laughs, glad to see the little lady and his Captain in such high spirits. "Sorry Miss Ariel. I don't have my pan to hit him in the head"

She sighs melodramatically and mutters "Pirates" but giggles and winks at them before she disappears behind closed doors.


	3. Fare you well, oh careless love

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Enci, she runs an amazing Hookriel blog (mermaidonthehook). I think you're in for quite a shock.

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**Fare you well, oh careless love**

His skin was clammy, cold sweat over his brow and his neck, and for once in his life, he understood what it meant to be afraid. He'd never been a coward, he had faced death many times, willing to go down for his ship and for his men. There had been times, long ago, when he had wanted to die for her, the one who was taken from him; he hadn't been afraid then. Not even when Rumplestiltskin had a sword at his neck, the revenge clear in the air, the demon's magic pulsing with victory, and Killian's memories flashed in front of his eyes, her love burning and punishing. Not even when his heart started beating slower, finally wasting away, as Rumplestiltskin started ripping it out. No, he hadn't feared dying for the one he loved_. _

But right now, he could taste fear, he felt it in his steps, he felt it in his stomach. His panic was dizzying and heavy in his heart. He wanted to find another magic bean, another vortex, another magical land, anywhere else but here, and take Ariel away. But there was no enchantment, only his love and his skills, and the certainty that he had to defend her; that if because of one meaningless pirate raid, she was harmed, he'd go mad with guilt.

They were days away from the swamps, yet he knew his nightmares would follow him. He was a haunted sunken ship, meant for darkness and pain; he thought he understood it, that he could grasp it. But with her light and her hope, she made him forget that, she made him rise from his agony. Nonetheless, reality had caught up, his past sins were knocking on his door. But this time, his misery was not his own, she'd be the price to pay if he failed. He closed his eyes, and the ship and the incoming battle faded away, the only thing he saw were her red curls tickling his face when they danced in the night wind, the only sound in his mind was how her heart accelerated whenever he promised to love her unrestrained forever. He had to protect her.

He came back to their chamber, and she was lying on her stomach, feet up in the air, following the melody she was singing:

"_Careless love, oh careless love  
Couldn't keep you from my door  
When I wore my apron low  
Fare you well, oh fare you well  
Love oh love oh careless love"_

He paused, amazed at her innocence, her merriment, how good she looked in his bed, how good she'd been in his life, how her voice comforted him even in moments like this. Time was running out, he had to be certain she'd be out of harm's way.

"Love, we've encountered another pirate ship. There's probably going to be a raid, a battle, and I have to fight, but I can't go out there without knowing you'll do exactly what I say right now," he stated, his lips devoid of his usual grin.

She looked up and struggled for breath, petrified by his seriousness and his tales of other pirates. Her skin immediately was covered in goose bumps, and her mouth tasted bitter terror. She knew he had changed with time, his love for her mollifying other not-so-good qualities he had. But pirates, he had told her, they were reckless, they had no limits, no morals, they were unpitying.

He saw the tremors that went through her, and it reminded him so much of the first time she fell into his arms, her legs unsteady like a newborn colt's, her hair a tangled mess filled with sand, her bottom lip quivering, her face open and pale. She looked like that now, fear evident in her eyes and his heart flipped, his blood thundered. He would never let anything happen to her. He'd die first.

"No no, sweetheart, don't be scared, this is nothing, it's common among pirates. And you're going to stay here, locked up, I'll barricade the door from the outside so no one will be able to come in," he reassured her and she sprinted off the bed and hugged him, shaking like if she'd just stepped out of cold water.

"Under any circumstance you will open that door, do you hear me? No matter what you hear, no matter what you imagine it's happening outside, you will not go out Ariel. Promise me."

"But what about you?" she finally whispered, her voice breaking, her lashes glittering. The yellow flecks deep in her eyes shined like coins in the bottom of the ocean, and he could almost feel the pain in her beautiful tears. He kissed her eyelids and she exhaled. He had to shield her, distract her from the imminent threat.

"Me?" he chuckled; "You think they'll even touch me? You've seen nothing yet, my sweet. This will be like a child's game. You stay here and don't worry about me; I've done this many times."

She stared at him, unsure of his nonchalant attitude; the tension of his shoulders and his mouth revealing things his words weren't. She held his face, and his eyes flared, dangerously exposed, and she was about to speak, but she jumped when someone knocked on the door frantically. The moment of vulnerability was gone, he guarded his eyes once more and kissed her lips tenderly, and then the tip of her nose. He rested his forehead against hers, her cheeks were wet with her fugitive tears, and his gaze bore into hers, the silent devotion unfathomable in his aquamarine eyes. It felt like a goodbye and her heart couldn't take it, a sob escaped her and she saw his resolve weaken. She clung to his coat, desperate to say something, a breath away from dropping to her knees and begging, holding his legs and never letting him go. Instead, he stepped back, the soft light from the window showing her the wet trails her tears had left in his cheeks. He took off his jacket and put it on her shoulders.

"Be safe, I'll be back soon," but he paused, and she could feel the desire coming from him, and she choked back a whimper and tried to hold herself up. His eyes were distressed, almost pleading her to let him go, and he stroked her chest, laying his palm over her heart. His caress warmed her, her heartbeat welcoming his hand, and he gave her a tortured smile. He mumbled "I love you" and left, finally. The sound of the door locking and shacking with the weight of the barricade filled her with dread. The room felt eerie, like a cage, and she retreated to the bed, her legs shaking. "_Don't fail me now_," she thought, scowling.

She took off his jacket, held it to her face, and inhaled him. She was trying to be brave for him, was trying to calm down and be like the tide, smooth and resilient; but the knowledge that he was out there fighting for his life, fighting for _her _life, was too much to bear. "Oh father, please, I beg you, keep him safe, help our boat, just do something, please," she prayed as she broke down, collapsing on the mattress, cocooning herself in his scent.

Leather, sandalwood, sea salt; strong, alluring and addictive, like him. However, the owner of that delicious smell was out there, yielding a sword, stabbing men with his hook, and she was lying on a bed holding his jacket. She felt utterly powerless, like a child, like a doll kept in a box, dainty and protected, but useless, easily broken with the slightest fall. Oh, how she despised her own weakness, it frustrated her so, she wanted to smash the mirror on the chest of drawers. The feeling of failing him, failing _herself, _was so overwhelming she cried out and pounded her tiny fists on the mattress, kicking as well_._ She had not come to this world to be a little girl and hide in fright. She had come to live, to have adventures, to experience everything. She had come to fall in love, to stand beside the man she chose, she had come to fight!

Enraged, she jumped off the bed and ran to the door and yanked the knob. Locked. "Let me out!" she screamed, but it was no use, he had made sure she couldn't open it from inside. She pummeled the door, frantic to get out there. "Please Killian, please let me be with you, I can fight, I'm not weak," she stammered through her tears, losing her rage, sliding to the floor. She curled into herself, and cried her despondency for what felt like hours.

As time passed, she felt heavy, like in trance. The sounds of swords clashing, of men crying out in pain, of the ship moaning and groaning with the weight of the battle and the ocean crashing against it, ensnared her into a world of despair. She felt nauseous, concern for him replacing every other feeling she ever had, her wishing for the sea, her joy for her new life. He was all she could think of.

"_If he dies…_" but she didn't dare to finish that thought. Every male grunt of pain, every time she felt the floor shake, like a body just dropped, she closed her eyes and let the dread wash over her, like when she almost drowned. Her fear was drowning her now, the air failing her, the rawness of her throat excruciating, the worry pressing on her chest like rocks. She imagined him still and cold, and it turned her stomach. The pain of not knowing was excruciating.

She heard footsteps, and thought she felt the chamber quaver. "_What is happening?_" she wondered, sluggish. Without warning, a rock smashed the window over the bed; she stood up alarmed, and took a step towards it.

A man swung into the chamber, and stood on the bed. He was an old man, with wrinkled, tanned skin, like dyed paper; his beard was gray and muddled, braided in the front; she could see blood on him. His gray eyes were bottomless and detached, like fog; but they glowed triumphant as they stopped on her.

"Hello mermaid" he said in a thick accent and smiled, pulling out his sword.

Ariel took a step back and thought: "_Oh no._"

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A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! Don't kill me! Please review and let me know what you think and your prediction for the next chapter. Love you all!


	4. It's woven in my soul, where the demons

**It's woven in my soul, where the demons are**

The smoke coming from the other ship was acrid and Killian could feel it sting his eyes, along with the sweat that run alongside his temple. His back was taut, the muscles of his abs tight with the tension of the dying battle. He stepped quickly in front of one of his sailors and hooked the enemy sailor's coat, he pulled and the man fell and his man overpowered the other pirate hastily. Even if there were a few men still standing, trying to fight, his crew had already set fire to the other ship and captured many of them. The flames were slowly eating the quarterdeck.

Killian leaned against the mast for a moment and closed his eyes relieved, he was itching to see Ariel as soon as the prisoners were taken to the cells. He could imagine her fury when he opened their cabin, she would yell and stomp and her small fists would hit his chest and he wouldn't even laugh, because he'd be so worried and so intent on winning the battle that he would just hold her and kiss her temple and she would whisper "Don't ever leave me again" and he would tell over her mouth "I could never" and she would melt against him and his heart would be complete again. He imagined her tear-filled scared eyes and he frantically wanting to hold her and comfort her, he needed to erase this memory away with kisses and caresses. She was still so unused to human pain, to human evil, she feared things were worse than what he showed her. His left hand might be gone, but never his boldness and his reckless courage, especially when her safety was concerned.

He rolled his arm, his neck was stiff, and his shoulder felt torn where a man had stabbed him, but the battle was over and they had won. He was proud of his crew, they had fought like no other time before, they defended their captain's lady, they knew what the stakes were.

"Sailors! How many prisoners do we have?" he surveyed the deck, counting the man being tied and others who were held at sword's point.

"Twelve, Captain" one his man yelled.

"Where's this filthy sinking ship's captain?" he mocked smirking, but the prisoners grinned maniacally. He felt the creeping suspicion of a conspiracy, anger crawled over his back and tickled his neck, mocking him "_You foul_". Killian could hear the rumble of the fire, and he tensed again with the prisoners sardonic silence.

"Bastards, I said, where is your captain?!"

But the prisoner's laughter gritted on his patience. He started to go over the battle in his mind, looking for details, trying to unravel the trap, desperate to know the secret hidden in the enemy's taunting snickers.

He stepped in front of a prisoner and looked him right in the eye. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. Your captain is coward, sailor." He finally got a reaction, as he saw many of the prisoners struggling against their restraints.

"Such big words for such an empty man." someone said. Killian turned around, the voice teasing his memory, the deep accented words coming phantom voice from the other ship.

"Show yourself!" Killian yelled impatient, as the adrenaline cursed his body and his mind keep trying to show him the wrongness of the situation.

"Gladly." the other pirate scorned and he saw a small figure step forward in the smoke filled deck.

But the figure whimpered and he felt like the bottom of the ship trembled, broke and the sea swallowed him, drowning him. His muscles felt like lead, and he thought he would fall to his knees and beg, his heart felt like bursting. He'd recognized that sound anywhere.

"_No no no, please don't, please not again, please don't let this be true, she was safe, I protected her, she can't be taken_." he pleaded silently in his mind.

The old pirate stepped forward finally, but the smoke blended with his grey beard and grey eyes. He could barely see her skin where the smoke danced over her features, only her hair flashed among the smoke. Her eyes were like a lighthouse in the middle of his stormy thoughts. He could feel Smee restraining him, holding his jacket, as if he knew he would leap and try to grab her. But his back was tense, he could feel the muscles of his calves ready to bolt, he could feel an itch in his biceps, desperate to pummel the pirate's face, ready to rip his filthy hands, his disgusting magical hands, off Ariel's waist.

"Killian Jones, I couldn't be more pleased that we meet again." the old man sniggered.

His heart kicked back and his hand gripped his sword, but he didn't make a move.

"Always glad to see I made an impression, Blackbeard." he hissed but his voice left him as the pair finally stepped over the plank that connected both ships.

How Killian wished it was jealousy what turned his stomach and made him want to rip the old man's throat as his grimy hands gripped her tight. But it wasn't jealousy, though he hated to see her small waist restrained by another man, her tiny body overpowered by the pirate's sword.

It was rage. It was like a blackness that crept into the corners of his life until everything was grey and dirty. His insides felt burned out, like if you cut him open, all you would find would be smoke. No heart. No bones. There was nothing left, just the anger. It was a throbbing in his mind, in his gut, that someone would touch her porcelain skin, would hold her by her hair, would dare to restrain her and cut her air, just to threaten him. He could tear the other ship board by board if he needed to get her back. He didn't believe he could hold himself back much longer. He was losing control of his wrath, he would die getting her back, that's all that mattered to him, freeing her. He'd rather die than not have her, he'd rather die for her and save her, than know he had doomed her.

"I found myself a little fish." Blackbeard said gleefully and Ariel whined and tried to move, but the tip of the sword dug into her neck and Killian saw a trickle of blood travel down her collarbone.

"Don't harm her!" Killian yelled, Smee barely limiting him, another sailor holding him back as well.

"Oh oh oh. It seems like you finally have weakness, Hook."

"There should a Captain in there somewhere." Killian added with a half grin, but he was only trying to buy time, trying to figure out something, anything in order to save her.

He saw how Ariel's tremors and he couldn't breathe with the pain of the responsibility of her fear. He made a decision then, and his heart stilled with the agony. He was to die and she was to live. He'd trade his life for hers, or die for her, either way she could go back to the sea. He had lost that battle already, the ocean would protect her afterwards. His death would set her free. Her eyes were huge while the tears mixed with the smoke, leaving grey trails down her cheeks. "_I need to let you go, your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their light, I can't escape this now, I'm sorry._" he realized with sorrow.

Regret tried to creep into the corners of his mind, guilt tried to make a home of his heart. But right now, he refused to let it. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted by his desolation, he couldn't allow himself to realize he wouldn't hold her again. Right now, if he remember every little detail about her, he would drown, he would crumble. He couldn't think about how her skin felt soft and familiar against his chest during the mornings, he tried to erase the sound of her laughter, the breathy quality of her voice when she whispered to him during the night, the soft warmth that invaded him whenever she sang. He put a wall between himself and the recall of her eyes in the afternoon light, the golden flecks hidden in the deep green color, the plumpness of her lips brushing against his chin and that ridiculously tempting crimson shade they had, or the shivers than ran along her when he nuzzled her neck. Her hair would be a forbidden memory, because if he thought about the curls all wild in the ocean breeze, if he imagined the ghost tendrils brushing against his chest, if he considered how it smelled like coconut and tropical flowers, he would now only see that her hair was like blood, and he couldn't associate her to blood, he couldn't fathom her blood spilled. But above all, he didn't dare remember the rhythm of her heart, he fought hard to harden his heart to the recollection of her peaceful beating that he had covered in kisses and "I love you's", like he could protect her heart, like he could cherish it forever, like a stolen treasure. But that's the thing about a pirate's hidden treasures and secured hearts, there's only so much borrowed time they have.

"Alright Captain Hook. You have a debt to pay." Blackbeard goaded.

"So you're Rumplestiltski_n_'s lapdog now? How the mighty have fallen, Blackbeard." Killian smirked, the emptiness inside leaving broken and weak.

Blackbeard laughed and the enemy boat shook with the force of the magic coming from the old man.

"I'm no one's lapdog, boy. He has something I need. Inmortality. Something you already had, Killian Jones." Smee gasped behind Killian.

The old pirate flipped his hand and Ariel was covered in chains inmediately. Blackbeard looked right at Killian and smiled.

"Here's your eternity of misery. Take a swim, little mermaid." and he pushed her.

Her face as she fell undid Killian, she looked reconciled and forgiving, like her fate had always been to die for him. He would never let that happen.

He felt Smee let him go and without second thoughts he flung himself overboard, but she had already sunk. He dived under and opened his eyes, the see was black and ruthless, but he thought he saw her red tresses and he pushed forward towards her. She sank so fast, his muscles protested with the force he swam and tried to reach her. He could see her panicking as the air started to fail her. He finally reached her as she touched the bottom, he was petrified with how much time had passed for her without oxygen. He hooked the chain and pulled, and she moved like a rag doll, but he couldn't think about her like that, he needed to focus on loosening the chains. In those seconds were her life was at stake and all he had was one hand, one hook, and time against him, he had never hated magic more. His loathing made him work faster, his desperation at her white complexion and bluish lips made him pull harder and he could feel his hand tear and blood dyed the water surrounding him.

He finally set her free and his heart quickened with relief, but slowed down as his lungs started to miss the oxygen. He held her in his arms and he tried to swim quickly, but she was unresponsive and he thought the nightmare of seeing her like this, the light skin of her neck startling red where Blackbeard had cut her, would shatter him. He tried swimming more rapidly but the surface didn't seem any closer and his thoughts were a tangled mess. He felt his arms slacken but his heart tried to push him forward, his heart seemed to yell at him: "_Swim idiot, swim or she's gone!"_

He was almost reaching his ship when he lost the strength, oxygen finally deserting him, and his last coherent thought before the darkness pulled him under was a musical voice filled with anger that murmured in his ear: "You'll love her to ruins, you fool."

* * *

**A/N:** Another cliffhanger, sorry bbs! Please please please review, I'm having trouble with this story and your feedback would be much appreciated! For this chapter I quoted Mara Dyer again and Tany Byrne, Heart-Shaped Bruise. There are some Imagine Dragons lyrics, my favorite song. REVIEW I BEG YOU!


	5. The meaning of a tragedy is you and me

**The meaning of a tragedy is you and me**

"_Her eyelids were painted blue.  
When she closed her eyes,_

_The sea rolled in like ten thousand fiery chariots,_

_Leaving behind silence above & below  
A thousand years old"._

The voice that sung was smooth and alluring, it echoed in the shadows and got lost in the corners of his mind. The yearning pounded against his eyelids, trying to wake him up, trying to bring him to the light. He thought the light was green, a marine glow in the darkness of his soul, and it was warm and soft, like loving words from a declaration lost long ago. But he was so drained, and the air was heavy and thick, barely reaching him. His arms were slack and bare, he had lost something cherished, but he couldn't remember what it was. There was emptiness in his chest, he felt like a puppet without strings, especially the one that anchored his heart.

"Killian." an echo tried to reach him, but he wanted to stay here, where he didn't feel almost anything. He tried to ease the dull pain in his chest, rubbed a hand against it, although he supposed it was just a hole there. But the pain was numbing, and even if the lack of air was suffocating him, he felt death was such a peaceful despair, he'd rather stay here than face what he couldn't remember.

"Killian, why?" the voice taunted him, behind him, but as he turned there was no one there. Before, he thought the voice had been sweet and tender, forgiveness inherent to the memory of it, though he didn't remember what that memory was. But now, the voice was chilling, he imagined the punishing glare of green eyes. The worthlessness was drowning him, he thought in the dark he wouldn't see the regret, but he couldn't escape the guilt.

Red hair as spilled blood, porcelain white cheeks dusted with freckles, and sea green eyes in the middle of black waters, panicking as she sank, as he failed her. His mind might try to forget, but his heart could never, she was branded into his soul like his deepest desires. He gasped and choked on his breath, the oxygen punishing even if he needed it, like a reminder of how the air had escaped her, how he had failed to bring her back to the surface and save her. Not even sacrificing himself he had been able to rescue her. He was just a carcass of a thoughtless man, he should have known better than to love her. He had doomed her the moment he whispered his first "I love you" over her heart and magic had bonded them together for life.

He wanted to drown again, he longed for Rumplestiltskin's magic and his heart being ripped out, he couldn't bear this failure, he couldn't absolve this guilt. His mind keep picturing her lips, those plump and delicate bow shaped lips, bluish as she sunk into the ocean floor. He imagined her hair drifting like ghosts in the sinister depths, he imagined her startling round eyes vacant and rotting.

"Please, just let me die already. I'm begging, let me join her." he screamed until he tasted blood in the back of his throat, but there was no use. He sat still until the darkness consumed him.

"Captain! Wake up Captain Jones!" a loud voice penetrated the obscurity, and Killian thought a hand shook him.

He opened his eyes and the light dusk welcomed him back, blinding him. He turned on his side, and the cut in his neck opened as he vomited and he spit the salty water.

"Slow down Captain." Smee put a linen cloth to his neck and held him back as he tried to stand, but he was too unsteady to hold himself up.

"I need to see her body." he mumbled, his voice hoarse, and he spit out more water and choked. Smee and John looked at each other, their faces sympathetic, a silent message between them.

"Sir, Ms. Ariel is alive. She is in the cabin, she was freezing when we got you out." John told him.

Killian stilled, and his vision blurred. He recognized tears even though he had never shed them, but Ariel had shed enough for both of them. His heart was hammering, rebelling against his immobility, restless in its need to connect with her heartbeat, to feel her again. He craved her goose bumps as he tickled her knee, he hungered for her bites and her kisses on his neck, he needed her sobs and her tenderness against his chest as they reunited. His frantic relief was like the breath around him, he was vehement in his need to see her and plead for her forgiveness.

"Mr. Smee, help me stand." Killian rasped. Smee helped him and Killian leaned against him as his legs protested, his hand was torn and bloodied, but he felt like running to her.

"What happened with Blackbeard?"

"He disappeared sir, vanished right in front of our eyes as soon as you both fell. That bloody magic." They had reached the cabin's door. Smee clapped his back and left him, as the door opened.

She was in his arms without delay, her hair fragrant against his cheek, her supple hands reaching everywhere at once and memorizing his face again, her tears shining in the twilight. She stood in tip toes, thought she was so small she barely reached his chin, but she kissed him nonetheless, wherever she could get. She dropped kisses like soothing prayers over his chin and his bottom lip and he breathed deeply just once, and tightened his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart." he implored and she stood back and stared at him in horror.

"Why are you asking for my pardon? Killian it was not your fault! Don't do this to yourself, love! He had magic but you still saved me." she sobbed dejected and he shook his head and stepped forward. He laid her on the bed as delicately as the stars falling on a cloudless night.

"Wait, I'm still wet. Let me take this off." he stepped off the bed and undid his clothes. He went back to her and covered her body as she opened her arms. The minutes went by slowly, only counted by her breathing and his heartbeat. They didn't talk for a while, there was no sound but the pulsing magic of their reuniting playing in the dark. He heard her sigh and he valued that breathing more than his own.

"I thought I was going to die, I mean, I was going home." her voice was barely over a whisper but those words froze his blood and his heart stopped, the painful recognition of a battle lost from the beginning. Rumplestiltskin's promise was true and raw: his eternity of misery was to love her while the sea demanded her homecoming.

"That was not the return I wanted. But they kept calling me back, the ocean, my family." she blubbered but he shook his head and she borrowed her face against his neck and her tears sting his cut, more salt over the wound that was her leaving. He kept silent as he stared at her diminutive body shaking with the force of her grief. Her golden curves were warm against his chest, but he was frozen, unfeeling, he was blank except for his anguish.

"When I was sinking, it was like I didn't know the ocean anymore. It is not my home anymore." she whispered and her voice held so much pain, tortured by the feeling of not belonging to the ocean or to the land. Yet he was unmoved, because he sensed that belonging with him was never enough for her. It was the confirmation of his biggest fears, that his love was not a decent home for her, she would always love something he couldn't give her, a place he didn't control, a familiarity he couldn't own, no matter how hard he tried. His agony was boiling inside until he lost control.

"It's like you're always bloody leaving me!" his yell boomed in the room, filled them both with shock and uneasiness. He had never raised his voice at her and she had immediately jumped from his chest and was staring at him astound.

He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, the pain of her words smoldering his heart into ashes. Ironic, like Rumplestiltskin crushed hearts into ashes, he finally had succeeded destroying Killian's.

"I was pushed." Ariel whispered imploringly, her eyes were desolate but contrite, her hands tried to smooth over his cheekbones, but he evaded her touch.

"Yes and I couldn't stand it, thinking you were going to die, I wanted to save you or die with you. I had promised myself that if something ever happened to you, I would follow you into the dark. Whatever happened, I would be close behind to hold your hand. And here you are talking about an ocean that's not yours anymore. You only care about that blasted ocean!"

"Don't be unfair Killian, you have to understand it's my home, I miss it!"

"A home you just said you would return to! Bloody hell Ariel, don't you love me?" his heart was pierced when her face fell as she doubted and he thought he'd rather been left sitting in the bottom of the ocean forever.

"I love you so much Killian, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for this."

"Then why do you want to leave me?" he probed, and she held his face and rubbed away the tears that ran freely and she hated herself for yearning a place that was killing him slowly, skillfully.

"Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them." she breathed and her pants against his face felt like fire and he recoiled from her. She never imagined that a sorrow as great as what she painted in his face existed.

"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway. Don't you believe in true love?" he shot back, his voice weak and depleted, he quite literally couldn't stand facing her anymore. Death would have been kinder, he had never considered the possibility of saving her but not having her. He looked at her face and her hurting matched his, but the recognition of the end prevented him from touching her once more.

"When I saw Blackbeard hold you and chain you, I thought I never imagined a greater torture. It felt like a storm had swallowed me whole and left me there to agonize. You can't just make yourself matter and then die, Ariel, because now I am irretrievably different because of you. You have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are. I don't know how to love without you, you're what holds me together." he stopped then, the devastation too great to continue, the affliction of her ripping his heart out simply too much. He couldn't even beg her to stay. Because he loved her enough to let her go.

"I'll miss you." he whispered and that was his forgiveness at her departure, that was his farewell.

"I haven't gone anywhere." she breathed softly and shook her head, trying to stop him.

"You're leaving me right now. You're doubting this, it's like you've left me already."

She crawled in front of him and straddled his lap. He turned his head away from her and trembled like a ship during a tempest, but she was unrelenting and kissed his forehead despite his tremors. She pressed his face against her chest and the rhythm of her heart was like a lullaby, like the music that tied him to her in the first place. Her weight on him was so dainty, like she might be gone already. But her scent, her warmness, the soft rising of her chest against him, was the sweetest torment he had known.

"Killian, you don't see what I see. You're so brave my love, you defy this land itself, you laugh in the face of death. You dare fight anyone for the people you love, and I'm sorry if you believed I didn't love you. I have always loved you, from the first moment I set my eyes on you and you held me. I loved you every day and every night you ignored me, I loved you even though it broke my heart to do so unreciprocated. I have loved you since you brought me back to life, and now you've done so twice," her voice broke then and he kissed her chest, over her heart, and his tears soaked her gown.

"I have loved you during the nights I longed for the sea, I have loved you during the mornings when you whispered to me. I have loved you before I even knew what true love was. You made me unafraid, you're all my hopes and dreams of this fairytale land come true. Every desire and every wish I've had during my entire life was just a path to bring me to you. In this moment, with the ocean, the sun and the moon as my witnesses, I promise myself to you forever, while my heart beats. The only home I want to return to now is your arms."

The moment she said that, he stilled and her heart with him. Would he believe her? She believed what she said, her doubts before had been her biggest mistake. She realized what she wanted, what she needed. Because as much as the sea longed for her and called her, like a mermaid's song, she now knew a magic more powerful than that. A magic stronger than any past, any love she knew in another life. She knew of a magic that grew higher than soul could hope or mind could hide, she knew the wonder that kept the stars apart.

"So do you…" but he hadn't even finished the sentence when she nodded and bit her lower lip and her eyes glowed with her tears. He didn't dare to hope until he heard her confirmation.

"I do. I still love you."

He lowered her on the bed and they faced each other. His face was solemn and still held some shadow of sadness, but she smiled and kissed his eyelids as he closed his eyes. His lips relaxed as she showered his face with kisses and her breath danced over him. His hand traveled the small distance between them and found its home in her chest, in the beating that belonged to him as much as he was slaved to it. Her voice was honeyed and evocative as she sang, pulling at the strings that held him together:

"_I carry your heart with me  
I carry it in my heart  
I am never without it  
Anywhere I go you go, my dear;_

_I fear no fate  
for you are my fate, my sweet  
I want no world  
for you are my world, my true  
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant  
and whatever a sun will always sing is you  
I carry your heart  
I carry it in my heart"_

He felt asleep thinking that if this was dream, he never wanted to wake up from his mermaid's trap.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter was inspired by John Green's TFIOS, hence the heartbreak. I also quoted E.E. Cummings "I carry your heart", he's my favorite poet and this poem just fits their story perfectly; Death Cab for Cutie's "I will follow you into the dark", and that quote in the beginning was Yusef Komunyakaa's "Omens". Please let me know what you thought of this impossibly painful chapter, reviews are love and they help me with the writing.

**A/N2**: Also, my favorite part of Hook's characterization in the show is the vulnerability hidden underneath his attitude, like he's seductive and fearless and snarky, but that's his mask to hide that's he's broken, he thinks he deserves to die and to lose everything, because he lost love once. He's very self destructive and punishing and that's what I wanted to show here. And Ariel is just a girl who's not sure how to handle a love like Hook's, she has a right to miss her home, even if she loves him, she ends up hurting him. Love is like that. Review review review!


	6. Leave yourself behind, my love

**Leave yourself behind, my love**

For once, Ariel wakes up before him and the sun touches her cheek tentative and slow, and the light pours over them cocooning them in the peaceful absolute silence of the aftermath. In here, where the sea can't disturb them, where no past can shatter them, she knows contentment. She feels certain affection for their bed and the memories they've created here, but above all, she loves the perfect neutrality of the sheets that surround them, of the moonlight that watches them and the sunlight that raises them, everything about this place is about promises and hopes. Before last night, in their cabin there had been no hard words, no resentments, no crippling histories that could touch what they had, like it was made of thunder storms and sea tides, undefeatable.

But her doubts and her pining for a past that doesn't exist anymore almost broke her seaman. She pauses, the revelation lighting fast and illuminating. "Why are you so surprised he's breakable?" she reprimands herself. She has witnessed many times that, concealed between words and kisses, under those sky eyes and sad scars, dark hair and darker past, hides a man who's broken enough for the both of them. Killian Jones is a man with chains under his muscles, with old pains tattooed over his heart, with shadows in his smile. She loves it all, the light he gives her with his love and infinitude, and the darkness that pulls him under, that makes him frayed. If she didn't, she wouldn't know a thing about being human. Because she's realized loving him is finding every crack and every fissure in his armor, and fixing him with acceptance and adoration. She understands he has darkness woven into his soul, affliction etched into his breathing, and mostly, he has the frenzied desire for salvation, unknown probably even to him. He needs to be loved. She always thought he was the savior, she was the dreamer. However, she recognizes his longing for a love that heals him, that stitches his wounds back together. She knows he hungers for passion, the maddening and joyful sensation of intensity, and laughter and freedom, and lust that carries you like a waterfall, no absolution, no control, only the surrendering to a love that's so complete, so forceful, breathing it's too painful without it. He longs for tenderness and gentle loving, because he believes himself void of those qualities, she knows he needs the warmth of a song in the middle of the sunset, the soothing of a declaration in the interlude of the night, and more often than not, he longs for the symphony that her heart plays, he delights himself in mastering her beating and molding it to his. But she failed him with one single aspect of true love: the fidelity of forever, the faith of years without doubt or intention of ever parting, the reliability of coming home to her arms, to her heart, every single night, forever. She grasps now her mistake: in the arms of the ocean, devotion rushed out of her. She let her love flow like a river, back to sea, but she was always a mermaid meant for the land, for him.

He stirs for a moment, and for a second her heart and her breath pause as he mumbles something in his sleep. He's so arresting with his dark golden beard and his luscious lips and his scar, he's such a wonderful miracle she was given. Having a human life wasn't enough, she was given true love. She never even dreamed such happiness was possible, it's like his heartbeat was the melody she was always meant to sing, but her heart forgot during these lonely nights when the sea tempted her back. She remembers now, now and forever she'll sing for him.

The regret is eating her inside, like acid was poured in her veins, like all the love she's felt turned into poison, drowning her in hurting. She's so angry at herself for not being good enough for him. In a way, she still feels like a child, like the little mermaid who escaped a life of boredom and traded all her cards for an adventure, for legs. How silly of her to think she could heal a man broken beyond his own possibilities. If she's a seashell, that stands against waves and currents and storms, he's a ship, and wood is easily rotten under the curse of many years.

The tears warm her cheeks as they pour, and she's looks out the window, the sunrise tender like his smile and a compliment when she first learned to dance. As the sun touches her cheek, like he has done so many times, she turns her face, she's undeserving of that happiness. She tries to avoid sobbing, so she doesn't wake him up. But it's as if he sensed her, as if her sadness was a broken lightouse he had searched across many seas until he found it and fixed it, because he moves and holds her gently. She sighs and he kisses her fingertips one by one as she touches his face.

"Killian" she whispers, but he shakes his head and continues his ministrations. He kisses the inside of her wrist and he mumbles against her skin.

"Not yet. I had the most splendid dream. I believe I was promised forever with a red-haired mermaid." he teases and she sobs, and he opens his eyes alarmed. She takes his breath away, because adoration is clear in her features, even if she's crying in earnest.

"No no, my love, don't cry please. Come here." she buries her face in the crook of his neck and he sighs. As her tears soak his naked chest, he kisses the top of her head with tenderness and she shakes with silent heartbreak.

"I can't forgive myself for hurting you." she mumbles and he's baffled for a moment. He never imagined her regret over this, over losing the ocean, yes. But over his pain? He chuckles for a moment and she gasps, surprised and hurt.

"Killian Jones, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?! Why are you laughing at this?!" she chokes out as she tries to crawl off him, but he holds her tight and buries his laughter in her fiery curls. He feels the warm of her blush in her neck and her cheeks, he's very fond of her angry blush. But he feels her impatient glare even if he can't see it and he laughs quietly before he faces her.

"Ariel, love is a tricky thing. It's volatile and it changes its mind, it's a sword fight between hearts. Some blood is always spilled for the sake of love. Even when we devote ourselves to one person, how can that love stand still against time and circumstances? You can't ask a ship to stand still against a storm's power. And just the same, you can't ask my heart not to be a little battered by your love. We change and love changes us and I've hurt you and you've hurt me." she sobs at that final sentence and he cradles her face and thumbs away her tears. Her eyes are big and bottomless, an ocean of his own and he feels he holds the universe in his arms as she stares at him with rapture.

"Sweetheart just because our love was laced with doubts, it doesn't make it less true. It makes it stronger. No matter what comes between us, fear and curses and even the entire ocean, we've defeated it, together. You belong with me, remember?" she nods weakly and gives him a shaky smile and he feels time went back and he's seeing her for the first time, hair full of sand, heart full of hope, and a smile that brought back to life a heart that wasn't supposed to beat anymore. He kisses her brow and the sigh she gives him warms the trail her tears painted over his heart.

"I was promised a mermaid last night. Should I start calling you Ariel Jones then?" he whispers over her heart as he kisses her chest and edges toward her belly bottom, licking and nipping. She giggles and her voice comes out in squeals as he tickles and bites her.

Mr. Smee turns around and takes the breakfast back to the kitchen. John sees the trays and laughs, a knowing grin in his face. Smee shakes his head annoyed, but he's relieved Ms. Ariel is back at the Jolly Roger. The mornings are not complete without her laughter.

* * *

Her red curls are burning with the sunset light, and she's splashing him as she runs away from him on the beach. She runs faster when he tries to grab her and her muscles tense and her legs look honeyed and golden after a day under the sun. She makes a path on the wet sand and even if it's a bit hard for her to run, she carries on, running away from him. Her strength leaves footprints on the sand and he can't help but wonder if the same strength made her walk into his heart, without a second glance back, without a consideration for his old wounds. She's laughing and yelling at him to catch her, and the tide resonates with the echoes of her laughs and the music of her voice. He smiles and waves back as she stands against the dying sun and her face is hidden in shadows, much like when she was hidden in doubts. With the sun behind her like a halo, she's a gift he never expected and fought hard to avoid the temptation of opening, but a gift he will spend the rest of his life protecting.

She beckons him closer and the moment he's about to hold her, she twirls and starts running in the opposite direction. Her laugh is unrestrained and her eyes glow with the daylight that escaped the horizon and he closes his eyes for a moment.

"_Please let me be with her for long. Please, whoever is listening, whoever demon or angel has watched me for years. I know I don't deserve to be happy after all the wrong choices I've made. But she's my light and I will work during every breath I take, every morning I wake, every beat of my heart, to deserve her. I'm asking for a lot, but I will do anything to keep her with me."_

He believes his own thunderous thoughts have escaped free from his mind when he hears a roar coming from behind him. He turns and sees Ariel running towards him and when he holds her, there's a dread and tightness around her eyes, like she can't take much more of the ache and difficulties they've gone through these past days. He hushes her and pulls out his sword. Wishes be damned in that moment, if he can't have forever, at least he'll die giving her that. She gave him a forever from the moment her legs failed her and she fell in his arm, until right now, when she's pressed herself against him.

The sea parts and from swirls and waves fighting against each other, a vast man swims towards them. His beard is silver and green, the sea and the light from the bottom of the ocean floor combined to make this man's hair; his face is strong and serious, and a million thoughts flash on his eyes, like fishes on a coral reef intriguing whoever views them. Ariel gasps when she sees him and she takes a tentative step towards the water, the shore pulling her closer, the strength of the king of the sea calling her to him; but she holds Killian's hand, drawing him behind.

Even when the seaman comes closer, and two young mermaids swim behind him, her faces fierce and determined, their eyes searching his soul, his weakness and stopping on their joined hands, Killian stands his ground, not letting go of her hand, but not coming with her. This is the moment he knew would come, the moment dread promised him, the moment vows are broken. But he will not shatter, not in front of her. If she leaves, she'll go freely and joyfully, and he'll stay behind, accepting the reality of what was never meant to be his.

The king and princesses stop a few meters away and Ariel covers her mouth with her hand, the tears' salt mixing with the ocean breeze that tangles her hair. The old king is silent as he stares at her, his face is inscrutable, made of storms and wreckage and infinity. Her sisters swim closer to her and the tallest glares at him and pulls her to her arms. Ariel sobs as the mermaid whispers to her in a tongue he can't understand. The other inspects him as she holds her sister hand, but he composes his eyes to be dead, dead as snow, dead as a heart without nothing to hold.

"I heard your calling, Killian Jones." the king's voice silences the shore.

Killian turns, and for a second intrigue blazes in his eyes. But hope is a treason he's not willing to risk. He schools his expression to be like the gray fog of the afternoon, unfeeling, unmoving, patient and cold.

"Indeed I made a wish not long ago, my lord. But a visit in person was not what I expected."

The tall mermaid flashes her teeth at him, the long canines telling their own tale of seduction and death.

"Insolent sailor, do you have any idea who you're talking to?"

He turns and Ariel's eyes are soft and pleading. Defeat burns in his veins and he turns to the old man who came back for his daughter.

"Yes, I know who he is. My apologies, my lord."

There is a knowing glint in the green eyes of the sea king, as Killian's reaction was exactly what he expected. But the tall sister is not quite appeased.

"That's it, father? You'll let him talk like that? I should rip your tongue for that, useless human. I knew you were trouble from the moment I had to save my sister and you."

His eyes widen and the mermaid comes threateningly close to him. A voice forgotten and buried under the pain of nightmares from the past days comes back to his mind. A promise of love doomed. _"You'll love her to ruins, you fool."_ She was the voice he heard when sinking into unconsciousness.

"Thank you mermaid, I owe you our lives." he tells, his voice humble and low.

"I didn't do it for you, futile sailor. I did it for my sister. I wouldn't let her drown because she chose an imbecile human for her savior." she scoffs and Ariel lets go of her sister's embrace and comes to stand in front of Killian, shielding him from her sister's wrath.

"Aquata, don't you dare insult Killian. You're the fool, you're vindictive and spiteful. He has saved me more times than you know. He gives my life a purpose."

"Little sister, you threw yourself off board because of his unawareness of you." her other sister says, but her face is regretful and melancholic.

"Adella, he's a human, as I am now. You don't see this, because it's a truth hidden deep inside the human heart. It's called forgiveness. I forgave him for that, as he did yesterday for my mistakes. Humans wrong each other, even if they love each other." she turns to her father and the tears are reflected in the old king's eyes. "I love him, papa."

Her father looks at Killian for a moment and he opens his arms, his eyes are soft, the waves at the morning are in his stare. But her decision is the strnght of the waves at twilight, stern and brave, overpowering and decided, touching the sand with the possessiveness of a lover. She turns and kisses Killian and the kiss is a promise of a life together, it's a remembrance of her words. She's choosing him.

"Young man, you don't deserve my daughter. She's the finest treasure of the sea, she is my pride and joy." King Triton whispers, and even his low voice is the breaking of rocks under a strong tide.

"But she's happier with you than with any wonder the sea could offer her. You asked for a long time. I'll give you this. For as long as the sea is my kingdom, you'll be together."

Ariel's smile is an eclipse during the highest moon and she squeezes his hand before running to her father. The pair holds one another, the bittersweet desperation of the parting in that hug.

"Father please don't do this! Can't you see he's a fool and a thief!" Aquata screams and the shore empties at her anger.

Ariel turns and there's rock and tempest in her green eyes, and Killian sees her as the mermaid princess she once was.

"No sister. He's a pirate." and pride pours from her voice and he feels his heart pounds with glee and admiration.

"Are you sure this is the life you want? This is man you choose to give yourself to?" Adella questions her, but her face is forgiving and sad.

"Yes." she simply says, and her father kisses the top of her head.

Aquata simply swims back to the depths without a glance back. King Triton holds his hand out for Adella and she goes to him. The pain of departure is evident in the way the sea has calmed down. Ariel walks back to Killian and when she hugs him, he mouths to the king: "Thank you."

"Take care of her, Killian Jones." Adella whispers and the sea opens and they swim back.

Ariel buries her head in his chest and sobs, letting go of a past than she loved, but he's not jealous of the sea anymore. Just this one time, the fates were kind to him.

"Ariel" he whispers and she looks up to him, a small smile gracing her poignant face. He frowns and opens his mouth, but her small fingers cover his lips.

"Forever Killian. I'm yours. I love you much, darling. More than anyone on the earth, more than everything in the sky."

"Is this real?" he asks her and she brushes a kiss to his lips and the magic of true love fills his veins once more.

"As real as eternity."

**The end **

* * *

**A/N: **So this is it, the end of this journey has finally come. And today is my 21st birthday, so I'm really happy to upload this today. I hope you liked my fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wanted to thank you, especially on my birthday, because writing this and every review and message I got, made me realize something I had forgotten: I love words, I had always wanted to write, but I never dared, and you guys have encouraged me so much, I'm forever grateful. So thank you for giving me that. I'd loved some reviews to hear what you thought of this ending. Cheers bbs, and thank you for reading.


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